Services

Couples therapy in San Francisco

You and your partner(s) keep having the same fight: one reaches out, the other pulls away, and nobody feels heard. Over time, that pattern starts to feel like the whole relationship.

Many people already know the concepts—attachment styles, love languages, and how to analyze their own patterns. But knowing why you fight doesn’t stop the spiral once things get heated. We slow those moments down to look at what is actually driving the reaction: the fear of being abandoned, the exhaustion of feeling criticized, and the instinct to protect yourself by lashing out or shutting down.

Our work blends practical tools with deeper insight. I draw on the Gottman Method to break reactive cycles—giving you reliable ways to de-escalate, listen without getting defensive, and repair after a rupture. Alongside that, we look at the personal histories and old protective habits you each bring in, so the shifts you make actually hold up outside the room.

We also tackle the areas couples often find hardest to talk about openly. That includes the quiet shifts in sex and intimacy—when touch starts feeling loaded or transactional, when desire feels mismatched, or when kink and fantasy feel risky to bring to the table.

I work with relationships of all configurations, including LGBTQIA+, polyamorous, and consensually non-monogamous dynamics. In open and poly dynamics, conflict often isn’t about a lack of care—it’s about mismatched pacing, jealousy that feels impossible to name without guilt, or agreements that worked a year ago but now feel restrictive. Whether you are opening up, renegotiating boundaries, or rebuilding trust after infidelity or a broken agreement, we make room to address the tension directly, without it turning into a crisis.

Here, no one is cast as the problem, and no one gets sidelined. Everyone gets to be heard.